Miles Traveled: 0
Days on the Road: 0
Boxes Bought: 50
Boxes Filled: 0
Bars Kicked Out Of: 1
Things Sold on eBay: 13
Money Made: $3738.00
Novelty License Plate of the Week
The Going Away Party
N 40°47.029 W 73°58.648
Everybody Wayne Chang tonight. Everybody Noah Davis. Everybody Sonja, everybody Ilio, everybody Susan, Julie, Steve, JP, Sarah, Cher, Patti, Kris, Johnny, Naomi, Courtney, Molly, Will and Dan tonight. Everybody that one chick we didn't know. Everybody Johnny's friend.
All of these wonderful people, and possibly more, saw us off Friday with a swell party. Sonja and Noah planned it to the last detail, including this awesome thing were we got kicked out of a bar, with authentic New York shouting, finger-pointing-in-the-face, and everything.
The main activity of the night, besides the ongoing implicit drinking contest (hey! even the camera got drunk! ha ha ha.), was the Scavenger Hunt. Highlights:
So, about this business of getting tossed out of a bar -- I highly recommend it for your next birthday or bon voyage party. A couple of tips to get you started... When ordering at the bar, have one of your friends show a legitimate in-state license. If the bar wench refuses it, show all your credit cards, office photo-ID, your 27-year-old fiancées ID and the IDs of your twenty other late-20s/early 30s friends in the party.
The two other bartenders may also check your ID and confirm its legitimacy, but don't let this deter the objective. Kindly proceed to sit quietly at your table until the bar wench walks over and asks you to leave. Politely agree, telling your friends it's no big deal. This is the friends' cue to begin the final scene before the group exodus – close your open tabs, don your coats and mention the injustice to any other barflies within earshot.
Now, if your bar wench is especially unreasonable and pissed as hell because the other two bartenders are clearly on your side, you can bait her into final showdown simply by telling her she was wrong. If she's anything like the bar wench we got, she'll puff up her chest and bounce her head from side to side while she spews self-righteous nonsense in your face. (We had the added bonus of watching her undo the little chain gate behind the bar and come at us chest-first, as if she wanted to settle things outside. Man I wish it would have been socially acceptable to kick her ass. As it isn't, we just had to post scathing reviews of the bar on citysearch. Take that, popular Manhattan bar.
© 2002, 2003 Anthony Hecht and Liz Jones. All rights reserved.