Los Angeles, CA
Miles Today: 0
Total Miles: 13,274
Days on the Road: 243
Road Noise
Our First Audio Thingie




OUR FIRST HATE MAIL

Finally, someone wrote to us and accused us of being horrible people. Anthony replied, and a series of hilarious judgements and insults followed. Presented for your amusement, The Jerk Files.
 
That'll Do, Donkey
N 34°03.135 W 118°14.620
Tuesday, September 30, 2003 - Day 243

So we've been in LA for a few weeks, and we're realizing that we haven't done much of the touristy, Los Angeles-y stuff. We went to the Getty Museum; too high brow. We tried to get on some game show; too low brow. We're missing the middle brow.

So the other day we went to Universal Studios and Citywalk. Okay, these are at least as low brow as game shows, if not significantly more so, but we needed a lead in.

Citywalk is this really cool place, very unique in the American landscape. It's sort of like a street, like a normal street, except without all the trash and despair. Instead, they have great stuff like Sunglass Hut, Haagen Daas, Sam Goody, Hot Topic (They have such cool shirts in there. This one said, "Off-Duty Ninja" and another one had a picture of a Trans-Am.) and cool stores like that. There was even a Starbucks Coffee place, which looked really comfortable and mellow, like some really cool people would hang out in there, if there had been anyone around. Oh, and this one store sold nothing but magnets. It was called Magnet Max and had this really nice sign that gave you the feeling of being pulled right in.

Wolfgang Puck, Hard Rock Cafe, and even a movie theater. We saw The Rundown. It was about The Rock, and Options A and B. Christopher Walken wore a ratty scoop-necked wife-beater and some gold chains the whole time. He was funny when he said things like, "Wow," and "Are you familiar with the concept of the tooth fairy?"

Universal Studios, on the other hand, was just like one big commercial for movies. We went on the Jurassic Park ride and were almost eaten by a T-Rex! We got wet on that ride, so we went to Backdraft to dry off. That worked, so we saw Shrek 4-D, hoping to find out about this fourth D and what that was all about. We'd seen 3-D movies before, and they had depth, width, and height, nothing seemed to be missing. Our research had shown that the fourth dimension is typically regarded to be Time, but most movies have that already.

It turns out the fourth dimension is sneezing, and shaking chairs. When the Eddie Murphy donkey sneezes, these nozzles in the seat in front of you spray water in your face. Also the chairs shake. Another of life's mysteries solved.


Brandon Getting Down and Getting Jewish

Anthony's Mad As Hell, etc, etc.

Bruce
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