After adding U-Haul to the number two spot on our list of roadblocks, we started calling around town to find a self-storage place with even a façade of competent and helpful staff. Within a couple calls we'd found that, plus a whole lotta Latina spice and charm. Meet Mercedes, the Carmen Miranda of self-storage. She makes paperwork fun.

1. Avoid U-Haul at all costs. I don't care how much cheaper their prices are, it's just not worth it. Ever.
2. If you're storing your stuff while traveling and aren't sure where you'll end up, you may as well just get storage near the place you're leaving. It really doesn't make much sense to spend $400 on a moving truck to store it elsewhere, now does it? I dunno. It made some sorta sense at the time...
3. Heavy boxes on the bottom, light ones on top.